Wussup bullshitters anonymous,
Dumb Football kid is doing reviews now, how bout them apples. This blog will be full of the truth. no lies, and especially no conspiracies. This my friends is bull shit gone wild, so here we go, Now to start it off I'm gonna start of with this piss shit Chronicle movie. Gotta hit it off with them modern flicks.
Chronicle (2012)
Let me give you the basics of this movie. Actually, I wont, I'll cut to the shit. This is a good movie. Let me re-emphasize the word "GOOD." This is not some award winning film that will be remembered 3 years from now, honestly no one will give a shit about this movie then, and possibly some will doubt its existence.
So your dealing with three mofo's in this film 1. Some extroverted black guy, who is mister president of their high school 2. Some goofy ass white kid named Andrew who has a dying mother and a fucked up father that bull shit's with him 3 .The goofy ass kid's ugly cousin. These two odd balls (Black man & Cousin) are chilling at some party out in the Boonies and they some how just stumble upon this hole in the ground. They freak out when it makes a noise. So the black one gets a really huge boner and needs to get film proof of what they found. So of course goofy ass Andrew got his heart broken at the party and is crying out side it with his camera. Black man finds him, spends 10-15 minutes telling Andrew to look, they go and film it, they go inside. Inside they stumble upon some fuckin rock and all their noses start bleeding, then fade to black. Advance into the future, they have these powers and jizz around town making idiots of them selves. This is the part that really pisses me off. After they have these powers, its all the movie focuses on. Yeah, there is some character development and funny moments, but the core of the story for some reason doesn't get going until 2/3 of the movie passes by. Now I am not going to lie, the end of the movie is decent. After the subtle character developments and unexpected deaths your left with the two white loonies duking it out in the city while simultaneously ruining all the citizen's dinners. The cousin kills Andrew, which was very unexpected, with the spear of some statue, and damn it was sick. Hands down,the best part of the movie. So just as the police are able to reach these kids (one dead) the cousin flies off like Superman and never to be seen until he starts filming (just like Andrew's goofy ass did) The cousin is of course starts filming in China (Andrew had multiple orgasm's thinking about this place) and has a 10 minute, completely unnecessary and irrelevant monologue about absolutely nothing. So the movie is over, and there is like two more to come from this series. This is overall a good movie and definitely watchable. Your gonna get a solid dosage of comedy, and some rough eerie edges that might make you nibble on your fingers( I think its really Andrew that is eerie, I mean he's some ugly teen that finds him self on screen in some positions that will make you piss your pants) The best thing in this movie though (besides Andrew's death scene) is the touching story and relationship with Andrew in his parents. His abusive dad rots the emotional part of Andrew, and his dying mother puts him on the verge of breakdown (His mental breakdown is the awesome final scene's) I would probably recommend this to a friend, but only if they were about to get bored. I wouldn't lose an arm or a leg to find a way to see the movie, and i definitely wouldn't write home about it. Overall I'll give this movie a solid 6.5/10 and it is not good enough to be Cfrish Certified.
Hey Folks, this is Cfrish and Ezzy Sweater reviewing one goofy ass film called Jack.
